You meet someone in France.
Instead of shaking hands, they lean toward you.
One cheek.
Then the other.
Sometimes once.
Sometimes twice.
Sometimes even more.
This greeting is called:
La bise
It is one of the most famous French social customs, and also one of the most confusing for visitors.
What Is La Bise?
La bise is a greeting made by lightly touching cheeks and making a small kissing sound.
Usually, people do not actually kiss the other person’s cheek.
It is more of a cheek-to-cheek gesture.
You may hear:
On se fait la bise ?
This means:
“Shall we greet each other with cheek kisses?”
Why Do French People Do It?
La bise expresses warmth, familiarity, and social connection.
It is common between:
- family members
- close friends
- classmates
- coworkers who know each other well
- people being introduced in an informal setting
It is less formal than a handshake but more personal than a simple verbal greeting.
In that sense, la bise helps show the relationship between two people.
How Many Kisses Are There?
This is where things become complicated.
The number of cheek kisses depends on the region, the social group, and the people involved.
In many places, two kisses are common.
One on each cheek.
But in some regions, people may give one, three, or even four.
There is no single rule for all of France.
Even French people can occasionally hesitate.
That small moment of uncertainty, when two people move in the same direction, is a familiar social hazard.
Which Cheek Comes First?
There is no perfectly universal answer.
Some people begin with the right cheek.
Others begin with the left.
The safest strategy is simple:
Let the other person lead.
Follow their movement slowly and avoid rushing forward like a confused woodpecker.
Do Men Kiss Other Men on the Cheek?
Sometimes.
Among family members, close friends, or in certain regions, men may greet each other with la bise.
In other situations, they may prefer a handshake.
The choice depends on age, region, familiarity, and social setting.
There is no rule that applies to everyone.
Do You Kiss Everyone?
No.
You would not normally greet a stranger in a shop with la bise.
You also would not usually use it in a very formal professional situation.
A handshake is more common when meeting someone in a formal context.
Among friends or family, however, la bise may feel completely natural.
What If You Are Not Comfortable?
You do not have to force it.
A smile, a friendly bonjour, or a handshake is usually enough.
Most people will understand that visitors may not know the custom.
Body language also helps.
If you remain slightly farther away and offer your hand, the other person will usually understand your preference.
Why Does It Feel So Important?
In French culture, greetings matter.
You do not simply enter a social space and begin talking.
You first acknowledge the people around you.
Bonjour, a handshake, or la bise creates the opening moment of the interaction.
It signals:
“I recognize you, and I am greeting you properly.”
That is why the gesture can feel socially important even though it only lasts a few seconds.
La Bise Is About Relationship
The most important thing is not the number of kisses.
It is what the gesture communicates.
A handshake creates respectful distance.
A verbal greeting is polite and neutral.
La bise creates familiarity.
It says that the relationship is warm enough to cross the invisible space between two people.
What Should a Visitor Do?
Do not panic.
Watch what the other person does.
Let them lead.
If they lean in, follow gently.
If they offer a hand, shake it.
If they simply say bonjour, do the same.
French social customs can seem complicated at first, but most people are not testing you.
They are simply greeting you in the way that feels natural to them.
And if you accidentally move toward the wrong cheek, you will not destroy Franco-international relations.
You will simply experience one of the most authentic parts of French social life.